Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
