Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
