I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
