I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
