Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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