Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
