Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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