My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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