phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
