there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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