A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
