The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
