True but thats because hes a fetus.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
