By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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