The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
