Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
