dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
