i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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