...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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