I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
