I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
