as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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