So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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