Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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