She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This is the high leading the old right now
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
