K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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