that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
