i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
