We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
