I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
