You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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