How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
im on a boat
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