I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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