He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
