Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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