My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
