You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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