I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
