Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
worst night to have a conscience
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
