You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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