On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
