is your mom at the bar?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
