Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
