ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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