Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
