plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
