belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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