and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
