This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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