Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
