I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
